Bronkh!
What was that?!! Woke me out of a sound sleep it did. Wonder what it is?
Brunkh!
There it is again. Where is my #1 person? I don’t see him. Guess I’ll get up and investigate. Maybe it’s something I can catch.
Strrreeetttccchhh.
That felt good. Now, what was I gonna do? Where’s my list?
Predicting the immediate future is hard for a cat. I like predictability so much, I started making a list. Helps me live in the present. If it’s on my list, it’s something I need to do, like to do, or just can’t live without doing. It doesn’t absolutely ensure I know what’s gonna happen next, but day in and day out, it’s the best thing I’ve got. This morning, my list doesn’t seem to be where I can access it. What to do. What to do.
My list not only tells me what I’m doing next, it tells me where, who with, and what time of the day it is. Well, this is going to be an interesting day without a list – improv!
Eat. That’s what I need. Something to eat, THEN investigate that noise that killed a good dream. Let’s see what’s in the bowl.
(Sniff) Dry food again. Hate that stuff. Oh well.
Crunch, Crunch, munch.
That’s better, but not by much. I need something soft - with gravy! That would improve my mood. Finding my list would also help. Let’s go see if #2 person is out of bed yet. Wait a second. Gotta scratch.
Ffflpp, ffpp, ffpp, Ffflpp, ffpp. Ffflpp, ffpp, ffpp,
That’s better. One good scratch deserves another. What was I about to do? #1 is gone, he can’t help. Oh, yeah. See if #2 can help me figure out what I need to do next. To the cat flap! Onward!
Thwip, Thwip, Thwip.
Wait a minute. Gotta pee. Damn, someone shut the bathroom door again. Maybe I can push it open. YES! I’m in.
Scritch, scratch, scritch.
OK, still no list. Random petting would probably be on it, that’s what I need. #2 is always good for that, and she’s usually in the sleeping room at this time of day. Let’s go get her. Hmmmm. She doesn’t seem to be awake. Neither is #3. That will never do. Think I’ll sit around in the window and see what’s flying around outside.
Bird! Another one! Three … four!
They’re busy today. I should be out there, but… naaahh. Are these lumps ever gonna wake up? Let’s see if I can hurry things along. I’ll just tweek the side of the bed a little - that ‘ll get a rise out of ‘em.
Scrit. Poik. Scritsch. Poik. Scratsch
Rise and shine! I need some love!
That did it. #3 is stirring, better stomp on him, then jump down and not make this too easy. He’s up. Now he’s looking at me. Stare back. Blink slowly. Make him wait for it, like I did. OK, that’s enough waiting - I’m going back up on the bed.
Puurrhh. Puurrhh. Puurrhh. Puurrhh.
This is gonna be good. Very list-worthy, if I had one. Yeah, that’s where I like it. Now a little to the left and up behind the ear. Oh, yeah, you know how mama wants it. Don’t stop. Too much! Gotta wake up #2 and get some more.
(Stomp, stomp)
Mra.
Wake up! I need some love.
Mra.
Good morning. Yeah, back atcha. No, no, not the pill! I hate the pill. Where do you think you’re going #3? I’m not done with you yet. You need a hint? How’s this?
Flop!
Yeah, rub my belly all over, whooah! Too much, gotta go, but I’m not going far. I’m not really done with you yet.
Flop! Puurrhh. Puurrhh.
If I ever find my list, this is going to be on it – belly rubs three times a day. Yeah momma! Wait, you’re getting’ up, leaving the room. You can’t do that. I still need something, but I can’t remember what it was. You’re going downstairs?
That was it - Gravy! I’ll beat you downstairs, and if you see my list…
Wait, that’s not where you keep the gravy. Don’t go there. Go this way. Damn, this always happens with #3. Okay, patience.
Splash. Kthunk. Bang… Bang.
He’s in the gravy room, but from the sound of it, he’s not gettin’ it. I knew it. He never does, but I can wait. No, I can’t. I gotta go back and get #2. She always knows what to do.
Ppither ppith, ppath, ppith, ppath, ppith, ppath.
Good you’re up! My list is missing and I need some gravy, too.
Rooww! Rooww! Riooww
Downstairs! Now! Follow me - and make it snappy! O.K. I think she got the message, but I better go sit by my plate and stare at it, just for emphasis. She’s out in the gravy room now.
Clatter, clatter, splash, kthunk, splash. Tink! Tink! Tink!
I like those sounds, and here it comes, just like I asked. Wait for it. Turn your head, blink slowly, now back to the place where the gravy goes. That’s it- put it down. Put it down right there - oh yeah, gravy! Yum!
(Long look at plate) What’s this? This is not going like I planned.
“Sorry, kitty. Out of regular stuff – you’ll like this, though. It’s the real thing, chicken scraps – with gravy!”
Sniff. Sniff. Sniff.
Hmmm. Interesting odor. What have I got to lose?
Lick, lick.
Mmmm. Passable.
Not bad. I even feel like eating the chunks today.
Got any more? That was so good, and an unexpected surprise, even if I do hate surprises. That’s what a list is for. Avoiding surprises. The next thing on my list is …. I don’t have a list, I don’t have a clue. The next thing on my list should be a nap. List or no list, not only is a nap called for, it’s necessary.
So many dreams, so little time. I’m getting a vibe about sitting by the big window between #2 and #3 in the chairs that wiggle. Mine has a cozy comfy fur piece that instantly puts me in dreamland. All is right with the world, and this feels right. What could be better?
Yaaawwwnnnn.
Waking up is hard to do. Still no list – but I’m back, and where is everyone?
Typical. Snooze you lose. I don’t like waking up alone. Makes me nervous: when will they come back? WILL they come back? Not knowing is the worst thing. I’d know when to worry if I had a list. Maybe I’ll go look out the window, check out the birds.
Squirrel!
Squirrels scare me, but I’m safe in here, I think. Where’s #1? He’s always a good security lap when you need one.
Where’s #2? I don’t hear any noise from her room. She’s usually there for quite a while, but lately – not at all. I feel safe when she’s there, even if all she does is talk at that window with the faces on it. I like the sound of her voice, and I can nap, and wake up for instant petting. Aahhhh.
What’s that sound outside? #1’s coming up the walkway! Wahoo! He’s back. Oh boy, here he comes walking up to the door. Gotta go greet him.
Mrrooww!
Where have you been, I’m glad to see you. Pick me up and hold me. I lost my list and I was scared. Yeah, let’s go upstairs. You can stare at that window with the colorful things moving around on it. I’ll sit in your lap, or next to you - I don’t care. Just stay home for a while and don’t be gone when I wake up!
Yaaawwwnnnn!
That was a good snooze. Where is #1? How long have I been out? I don’t hear anything but somebody’s gotta be here - somewhere. My list would tell me if … I had a list. I’m gonna give up on finding it today.
Nobody in the gravy room. #2’s not in her usual spot. Someone left this door open to those rooms at the bottom of that stair behind the door where they never go- that’s where they are sometimes.
Pit-pat. Pit-pat. Pit-pat!
Damn, nobody here. Whatta you know, I AM all alone again. I don’t think that’s supposed to happen. I don’t like this, hope they come back soon. First they’re here, then they’re not, and lately more than once a day. Nothing to do now except just go sit in the window and tune things out.
Wait! A noise outside! They’re coming back, all of them, together. I’m gonna give them hell when they open the door.
Raaouw. Raaouw. Raaouw.
“Hello Kitty, did you miss us?”
Don’t give me that sweet talk. You don’t get off that easy. What’s in those bags? Stop moving around. Pick a seat. Settle. I don’t like indecision. That’s better. Who wants the love? Forget it, You’re in the wrong chair. I think it’s playtime!
If I had my list, I’d know what’s next. I’ll just go wander around awhile and check out the options while you settle in. Okay, I see something that needs to be knocked off the windowsill.
Ktump.
Nice sound, and it rolls, too. OK, game on - Mouseball!
Fwap, Thwap, clunk, thwap.
Under the chair! Across the room! This is fun. Wait – what was that noise? You’re gonna add another mouse? Got it! Back to you. Roll it again! Run away! Pounce! Whew, that was tiring. I gotta stop and collect my thoughts. Maybe lick my fur back in place. Wait, where are you going? – I’m not done. Maybe I am.
Whatever. See if I care. I feel a nap coming on, anyway.
It’s been a stressful day so far. First, no list, then no you – twice! Stress is around every corner. The only way to deal with it is take another nap. I can always take another nap. Pardon me for an hour or so.
Ding, ding… dooonngg.
My nap is being interrupted again. It’s always something, and when it isn’t, it’s something else. Confusion reigns supreme today. A good list would help me smooth things out.
Whatever I missed today might not come around again until … ? Things come and go on my list – some stay a long time. It’s a pretty fluid operating system, but it usually works. I wish I knew what happened to my list.
The only thing I want now is to immediately secure major petting. With a list, I could do that with some predictability. People are never where you need them, unless you know ahead of time where they’re supposed to be. Right now, I can’t predict much of anything until my people get predictable again.
Recently, my list included hang out with #2 and sleep or watch birds out her window all day. There was sure to be but lots of petting. Now, #1 is gone when I wake up, and #2 doesn’t sit in her room anymore. Forget about #3 he’s totally unpredictable until much later. For now, anything could happen. Lists are what they are, and they’re all about predictability.
Last summer I had a great list. When everyone was up, I’d sit on my tiny chair in the open front door and watch the neighbors walk their dogs by my house. I don’t mind dogs if they stay in the street. That’s as close as I want them to be.
When I got bored with that, I’d demand to be taken outside on a leash to visit the catnip plant at the back of the house.
Mrwaaah! Meoouu! Mrraah!
#2 was pretty responsive to this request, so I usually got what I asked for. What I’m asking for now is a good list, any combination of things I like would do.
It’s a bit early, but I see #3 is getting ready for sitting time in his usual place in front of the noisy window of changing colors. That seems familiar, somehow. Does he have a list? Maybe he’ll share it with me.
Right now I’m thinking evening nap on a warm lap. Two or three hours would make this the perfect list item. I’ll go walk by casually and then stop and stare at him, convince him to put on a big fur piece. I’ll sit close-by where he can read my eyes, and stare until he gets it. Sometimes it helps to act like you care. Here comes the fur, and the evening nap is a go!
OK. The lap is cleared fur landing, and just the way I like it – this could be the start of something good. (Leap)
Puurrhh. Puurrhh. Puurrhh. Puurrhh.
I expect him to be here awhile. It’s all coming back to me now. This could be a sweet spot where our schedules collide. I don’t even care (much) if he gets up once or twice to get food or do something he must think is more important than having me on his lap. That’s a great time to get a drink of water.
I’ll put this on my list (if I ever find it) as long as he doesn’t twitch or wiggle too much. I might even be able to survive the nightly pill being dropped down my throat by #1. Why am I remembering that? Definitely not list-worthy. Only one thing can get me up now.
Rooouuuww!
If I concentrate real hard, maybe I can get #1 to give me a fishy-flavor nugget treat (or two or three) - they’re REALLY good! I don’t need a list to tell me it’s time for that. I know where he hides them and I’ve always got my eye out when he gets close by. I’ll do limited tricks for these, they’re that good. Worth interrupting a good nap for, anytime. Concentrate. Concentrate.
Thunk. Kathunk. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap.
What’s that noise? It worked #1 is coming down the stairs to give me a treat.
No! He’s grabbing me off this perfect lap to take me upstairs. I usually do exactly what he wants, no questions, but this - I do protest. I imagined you delivering a treat. This is not going on my list, if I ever find it!
Mrraaaaa!
I’m coming back, #3! If you leave, spread out the fur so I can use it. Don’t worry about the warm spot. I can re-heat it pretty quickly. Just so you know, I’m putting this on my list if I ever find it. It’s been a tough day without a list, and most of it I’d like to forget anyway. But some things are worth repeating…
Hey! My list - I found it!! Sweet!
That calls for a good night’s sleep, and tomorrow is surely gonna be worth predicting.
Author: Al Tietjen
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