I have started this story in my head at least a hundred times, probably more. I love my house in Washington State, but I am only able to spend five months of the year here. This is because we’ve chosen to establish residency in Texas for tax purposes and to be close to our young grandsons. We were just going to go down there for Winter. The intent morphed into something totally different. I blame the pandemic and its ramifications, including derailing RV travel. That’s another story.
Now, when we arrive in very late spring, I have missed the beautiful blooms of my pink and white camellia bushes, Siberian irises, and pink dogwood tree. The early crocus flowers, tulips, daffodils are all done too, along with my neighbor’s glorious pink magnolia tree.
We spent tax season, February through Mid-April, in Washington last year while my husband closed his office in town. Knowing it would probably be the last time I would see these blooms, I did take some pictures. I am really glad I had the foresight to do that. I still love to look at them. The hope now is to be in Washington for the end of rhubarb season. I do enjoy harvesting from plants I received from my Uncle Andy, years ago.
I have some lovely roses I fuss with and enjoy the flowers all Summer. Usually they are still blooming, even as the journey back to Texas begins, in late September or early October.
I have been sharing about the yard for this property, but my source for feeling overwhelmed comes from the house. It is relatively large, about 3,000 square feet. Everywhere I look I think about clearing things out and getting organized. I want to take things to St. Vinny’s or just make a dump run. I have taken some treasures to a storage unit for safekeeping.
There is a large room upstairs I call my “Chaos Room.” I start going through things and just get stuck. I don’t think so much about minimizing, but at least decluttering all of the things that are probably basically useless. Why do I open a box and just get caught up in looking at every little thing and getting stuck in the memories? Where did something come from? What in the world was I thinking?
Opened one big box in the corner and found a very short handled handmade whisk broom. Immediately the memory of the girls at the Massai school in Monduli, Tanzania was in my head. They were frantically sweeping water that spreading over the floor in the hallway of our dorm out the open door. Someone had left a spigot dripping in the community bathroom. A huge water vat for bath water was overflowing. That was a wild and crazy moment in time.
In the middle of all this I keep coming back to how old I am and how I am running out of time. The thought creeps up on me at any given moment. I still have things I want to do and places to go.
Did you ever just want to run away? Not forever, but to have your own moment in time to just “be.” I keep babbling with this story and making no sense. Looking out at the water through the windows downstairs soothes my soul, but also is distracting and keeps me from accomplishing my goals, whatever they are.
Well, have just spent half an hour trying to find packages of batteries that my husband bought at Costco. They weren’t in the drawer we usually have them in because they are too big. Costco, remember? Looked and looked in all the places I thought they might be. Even began to doubt that they were ever brought home. Finally, opened the very bottom drawer of a little chest where the top two drawers had proven fruitless and – Tada! Haven’t lost my mind quite yet, just almost.
Don’t look out the window at the water, boats, birds on the dock next-door, or the flag drooping on the tall flagpole by the artesian well shed. Try to keep your focus on the task at hand. Namely your writing assignment.
While looking for the batteries, caught myself looking through a box with books and found a few I thought were already in Texas. At least they are not lost, and I know where they are, at least for the moment. Perhaps making a list of where things are would be helpful. Don’t know why. Would probably misplace it.
Took a two-morning watercolor class via Zoom this week. Actually, I ended up with two acceptable small pictures. Total distraction from what should be my focus.
Another not-so-good distraction was a dead mouse on a sticky trap in my pantry today. Super gross! I can’t stand rodents. First one ever in over the almost twenty years we have lived in this house. What is happening?
Feeling totally overwhelmed lately. But wait, something positive happened yesterday afternoon. Can’t remember, oh, wait! Found out I can take my baking class on-line via Zoom instead of racing madly back to Texas and then on to Birmingham, Alabama to do it in person. An extra 2,000 miles of car travel averted! Was that a burden lifted from my shoulders, giving me a chance to take a breath? Perhaps we can even start back a week later than the original plan. Maybe enjoy just a little more time in my house on the water.
Just caught myself looking out the windows. Cool, breezy, heavy grey sky with drizzle staining the deck. Spider webs in the trees, hanging from the arbor. Could fall be lurking around the corner? My favorite season in the Great Northwest.
Wait! The chaos of my life continues unabated. Have just received a message about my baking class in Birmingham Alabama. NO REFUND. I must attend in person unless a replacement is found for my spot, THEN I can take the Zoom option and get credit for another class. I guess our late September departure is back on the calendar. Bummer!
I am going to do my best to enjoy every moment I have left in my Washington beach house this month. The ferry engine sounds and water from the wakes splashing up over the shore provide a source of calm. Will plan to have no plans in October next fall.
Author: Evelyn Panfili
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