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Katie Yusuf

Missing Memory Maelstrom

Scrunching my eyelids, I tried to block out the scorching sun beating down on me, blistering my pale skin. The sound of roaring water prompted me to run my tongue across my dry lips, but the salt crust merely heightened my thirst. Spinning like a child’s toy top, my mind was a garbled, chaotic jumble. I couldn’t recollect anything, not even my own name, and had no idea where I was.

Struggling to sit up, my fingers sank into the piles of coarse sand surrounding me. Well, I’m on a beach. That eliminates two-thirds of the world. Helpful. I muttered, seconds before a searing pain erupted in my head. Rubbing my scalp, my fingers grazed a welt on the back of my skull, buried underneath a mat of crusty hair. Further examining my body, I was jarred, and frightened, by what I found.

Draped in a shredded, threadbare shirt and pants, my skeletal body looked like it had been tenderized, chewed up, and then spit out and left to rot. Running a blistered palm over my damaged skin, I discovered I was covered in oozing gashes and nibbling teeth marks. I also noticed chafed skin encircling my wrists and ankles. No bones appeared broken, but every muscle screamed a grievance.

What happened to me? I fretted. How long have I been here?

Hoping to spark a flame of recognition, I swiveled my head and peered out over the sun-kissed beach. Ripples of tan sand flowed out around me, and a row of majestic palm trees stood at my back. Following the resounding rumble in my ears, my eyes were drawn to the vast aquamarine ocean before me. In the distance, I caught sight of where the crystalline-blue water separated from the azure-blue sky. The sun glistening off the waves mesmerized me as I witnessed the transformed into curling, frothing white tides that crashed into the coastline. A longing swelled in me as my heart raced to keep up with the rolling surf.

I sat watching the teasing waves flow onto the beach and then hastily retreat back into the depths, beckoning me to follow. Shakily, I stood up and, careful to avoid the broken shells with my tender bare feet, limped to the ocean. Sinking my toes into the squishy, wet sand, the saltwater lapped at my ankles, burning when it got in my cuts. Nevertheless, the coolness was so nice in this heat, I didn’t care.

This place is so calming, I mused. I can almost forget I’m hurt and starving.

Suddenly, a salty sea mist spritzed my face. That, combined with the thunderclap of the swells, snapped the lock on my brain releasing a tidal wave of memories. Overwhelming emotions and shock slammed into me. With a loud SPLASH, I limply fell backwards into the salty brine and allowed the current to carry my body back to the beach.

Sam, I recalled emotionally. My name is Sam and I am a sailor.

I remembered being commissioned on a law-evading vessel called the Regulatum. Following several months at sea, I had found myself smitten with the captain’s mistress. Her eyes of burning blue sapphires and hair of lustrous spun copper captivated me and were permanently imprinted on my mind and heart. She would sneak onto the deck to talk with me, and I would sit enthralled listening to her tinkling angelic laugh.

Caught chatting and laughing one day—unbeknownst to me our familiarity was strictly forbidden—I had been gruffly chained below deck, begging and bargaining the whole time for them not to hurt her. However, shackled in the cold, rat-infested dark, I heard the ensuing debauchery as she was passed around as the sailors’ party favor. My ears still ached with the haunting echoes of her screams. Even so, the deafening silence, signaling the end of my mental torment, was more excruciating.

Thereafter, I was dragged topside daily. Every gash on my body stung, every whip mark seared, and every bruise burned as I relived the torture inflicted on me. Groveling for death, I had only been laughed at and subsequently hit harder.

I recalled seeing an opportunity to end my suffering one day, amidst a sudden downpour. With stinging rain pelting my face and wind gusts swaying the main mast, I had managed to shimmy up the slippery pole. Not caring if I lived, only wanting to escape, I vaulted into the turbulence below. Like a fist punching into a wooden board, I was initially stunned by water’s solid surface before it cracked and splintered under my weight. Plunging into the freezing water, I felt my numbing body plummet into the raging sea. Tossing and pummeling by the squall must have knocked my head because my next memory was of the sun blinding me.

How did I survive that? I had worked through all the memories, but my new reality hadn’t had time to fully sink in yet. I’m…alive…and…I’m…I’m free.

Tilting my head skyward, I spied a seagull peacefully gliding over the open water, “I’m free!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, wanting to share my joyous news with him.

Throwing my hands in the air, I hollered again, “I’m free!” and threw myself backwards into the cold sea. Letting the water envelop me, I splashed my arms like a little kid. The sun sparkled through the little droplets and created fleeting rainbows that sprinkled down on me.

Sitting up, I ran my hands through my wet hair and gazed at the beach in front of me. I felt like I was seeing the shimmering sand for the first time. As the light reflected off the glass-like grains, I beheld a shore of glistening fallen stars. Gray driftwood chunks, green seaweed glops, and off-white seashell pieces decorated the dunes like abstract jewelry.

I spotted a tantalizing crab, and my stomach clenched with a hungry grumble. Diving clumsily across the beach, I pounced on him before he could skitter away. His tiny pinches were harmless compared to what I had already endured. Driven by hunger, I crunched on the small crustacean whole.

Scavenging for more sustenance, I crawled across the sand towards a mass of emerald seaweed. I grabbed a glump that was partially dried from the sun and shoved them into my mouth. The firm greens were briny and tasted like the ocean.

Lurching to my feet, I staggered towards the palms bordering the beach with a renewed vigor. My mouth watered when I found trees with brown bundles of plump dates hanging from their lofty rafters. Gingerly climbing the trunk, I plucked off some of the delectable fruit and bit into the meat of the sweet treat. With sticky juice running down my chin, I looked out over the crystal blue water and embraced my new freedom.

Author: Katie Yusuf

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