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John J. Mistur

Sasquatch

Johnny pulls the boxes of empty produce boxes on the hand truck into the back room.

“Way to pound it out, JJ,” says his boss. “Go ahead and take off after burning the trash.”

“Thanks, Boss. Gotta go practice with my band!”

During high school, Johnny is keeping himself busy. Not only does he work produce at Heinen's Grocery Store, but he's also the lead singer of a punk band, The KnuckleBeasts, with his three best friends. He dreams of being a rock star.

Pulling the truck carefully because the boxes are stacked like Jenga blocks, he tippy-toes through the back rooms. He is humming a new guitar riff that that Zak made up the other night. Thinking of lyrics.

As Johnny passes by, Dairy Larry puts a Yeti ice cream box filled with whip cream cans on top of Johnny’s load of empty grocery-store boxes. “Careful, dairyboy!”

At the incinerator, Johnny puts a wooden wedge on the floor to block the big metal door. Bringing the boxes inside the loud, hot room. First tossing in Larry's box followed by the rest of the fruit boxes. He starts singing to the rhythm at the top of his lungs. Feeling emotional.

The first line comes to him: “I saw Sasquatch in the middle of the arctic!”

The next line: “I saw Sasquatch and I'm not pulling your…

Boom!

The whip cream cans blow up in the incinerator, causing a big explosion. Johnny quickly closes the heavy door, takes his green apron off, and gets the hell out.

Before getting into “Big Blue”, his ghetto-fab van, Johnny untucks his dress shirt and rips off his strawberry tie. He drives into the musical-streets suburb where his drummer, Spike, lives. He runs in through Spike’s front door and hears Spike and Jamie practicing the new song downstairs. “I got the chorus, guys!” Johnny yells at the bottom of the stairwell.

Spike holds the drumsticks in shock. He's wearing eyeshadow and he’s spiked his hair up with gel. Jamie stops playing his bass. His flannel shirt is buttoned up to the caller.

“What is it, man?” Jamie asks.

“Ready? Here are the new lyrics: I saw a Sasquatch in the middle of the Arctic! I saw a Sasquatch, and I'm not pulling your d***!”

They begin laughing and then Spike bangs the symbol and screams. “Let's jam!”

“Chill,” says Johnny. “I want to work on the lyrics. Jamie, help me out?”

Spike continues to practice while Johnny and Jamie sit in a seventies-era brown sectional couch. Johnny starts things off.

“How’s about this?” Johnny asks. “I was climbing in the mountains way up high; and I saw this strange looking guy.”

Jamie adds his own line: “As I got closer, I got scared because that's when I noticed his supple beard!”

“Yes!” Hand slap!

Zach appears at the stairs with guitar in hand. He raises it the air. “Guys, guys. Quiet! I just got us a place in the open mic night at Flashes. We'll be rocking out tomorrow night!”

“No way!” Johnny yells. “We need to practice our set, guys. Let's jammmit the world!”

Spike howls. Smash!

Johnny writes down the new lyrics and creates a playlist for the show. The KnuckleBeasts practice the rest of the night, perfecting the set and new song.

The next evening, just outside of Cleveland, Johnny parks the van in front of the bar. The neon sign, Flashes, makes him smile. He's finally playing a real show. This is his time to shine. To show everyone how he rocks. His heart beats faster, now that reality is setting in.

When he walks into the dimly lit bar with Jamie, the smells of old cigarettes and sour beer fills the air. His punk-rock girlfriend, Emily, comes running down the hallway to greet him. She was wearing a short black skirt with fishnets and black knee-high Doc Martens.

“Hey, Johnny! We got a booth.” She grabs his hand and takes them into the venue. Inside, on one side of the bar, there are several couches full of people. The stage is lit with bright ceiling lights that shine down on his microphone.

Spike and Zach start setting up the drums, while Johnny heads to the row of high-back booths on the other side of the bar. Jamie comes from the bar in the back with a couple of beers. “We got free beer for the band,” he says. “You better not mess this up.”

Johnny chugs the beer to calm his nerves. He's getting psyched up. He’s already receiving rock star treatment, he has Punk Rock Girl, groupies, and he even free beer. “To the KnukleBeasts!” Johnny toasts.

“KnuckleBeasts!” yell the others.

It’s near time to play, so Johnny and Jamie join the rest of the band in the back room behind the stage, a small red room painted with neon skulls that glow in the fluorescent light. Once they hear deejay start the show, Johnny huddles everyone up and gives a pep talk before getting up on stage. “Okay boys. Let's jammit the world!”

Johnny Grabs the microphone with authority. “Cleveland! You ready to rock with the KnuckleBeasts? And now, for a new song from our latest album. Sasquatch!”

The small crowd claps over feedback from Zach's guitar. Jamie starts a funky bass line and then they start the upbeat punk song. The crowd starts gathering in the middle of the dance floor, cheering for more. Johnny’s groupies are in front, screaming and reaching up for him, so he puts more emotion into the lyrics. He jumps up and down. The chorus comes on again, and Zack comes up to the microphone with him. Joyously, they sing together.

The crowd is bumping into each other. People are singing the lyrics.

Once Johnny hears this, he feels the energy from the crowd. He’s never felt like this before. He feeds on the energy all the way through the rest of the show, giving the crowd what they want. Johnny the Rockstar! His dream is coming true.

Author: John Mistur

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