Jessica felt good this morning. It was the last day of a full week pounding the sidewalks of this tough neighborhood. She had worked overtime to more than fill the ‘interested donors’ list – she was 50% over her goal this week. She was going to look good at Monday morning’s meeting. Her diligence had far exceeded her goal already, but today’s new signups would surely put her in lofty esteem with her peers.
She stole a glance at the imposing white house as she saw Emil coming from the opposite direction.
“You first,” Emil waved her on.
“No, I’ve met my goal already. After you.”
“Maybe your luck will rub off on me this morning. Be my guest.”
“OK. I’ll set ‘em up – you knock ‘em down.”
Pleasantries finished, they proceeded to the door. Jessica was a step ahead of Emil, but he put on his best ‘put-on’ smile that preceded both of them while he gave an on-the-fly polish to his dusty shoes. Jessica was ready to ring the bell, but halted suddenly. The sign above the bell read:
SOLICITORS! MY OTHER ALLIGATOR STILL HAS ALL HIS LEGS
The notice was positioned above an equally frightening picture of a large alligator missing a forelimb. Emil scanned the notice without a visible reaction. He was reasonably sure loose alligators were illegal, but the notice portended the appearance of an equally grouchy resident. He disliked grouchy, especially in the morning.
“I don’t need the aggravation. You press the bell,” Emil offered.
“That’s why I’ve got my order book filled already, and you’re following me,” tweeked Jessica. “Watch how it’s done.”
Bing, bing, bong.
“Good morning sir. I like your sign. Very droll. Best I’ve seen. I won’t take up much of your time, but I can’t say the same for my comrade, because I just met him. Emil, what’s your cause this morning?”
“Uhhh… I just need 3 magazine subscriptions to get to Lake Tahoe,” he chirped in.
“Don’t believe it, sir. You look like a compassionate guy. I’m not asking for any money today, but when was the last time you petted a Baby Porcupine?”
A look that boiled at twenty paces came across the Sunday morning stubbled face of the homeowner. Jessica took a step back, leaving Emil alone on the porch. Jessica had thrown him under the bus, and he seemed frozen, unprepared for his next move.
“You both look smart enough to read, but since you can’t…I’ll make it clear,” were the words not heard, because Emil’s eyes were on the shotgun. Just as suddenly, Emil recalled the one thing he remembered with absolute certainty from training:
“Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?”
Author: Al Tietjen
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